Bold Moves Podcast

S1:E1 - Bold Moves: The Journey Begins

• Mat Torres & Rachel Staggs • Season 1 • Episode 1

Share episode

In the inaugural episode of the Bold Moves podcast, hosts Mat and Rachel explore the concept of taking risks in both personal and professional lives. They share their own journeys, discussing the challenges and successes they've faced, particularly in the realm of sales and insurance. The conversation delves into the importance of mental health, the value of life insurance, and the impact of neurodiversity on business practices. The hosts emphasize the need for genuine connections and the power of storytelling in building a successful career.

Takeaways

  • Bold moves often come from personal stories of struggle and success.
  • Success is subjective and evolves over time.
  • Risk-taking is essential for growth and opportunity.
  • Life insurance provides financial security beyond just end-of-life benefits.
  • Understanding different insurance products can empower individuals financially.
  • Mental health awareness is crucial in navigating career challenges.
  • Networking and building connections can lead to unexpected opportunities.
  • Neurodiversity can be an asset in business and sales environments.
  • Authenticity in communication fosters better relationships.
  • The journey of personal growth is ongoing and requires self-reflection.


Keywords

Bold Moves, Personal Growth, Career Transitions, Life Insurance, Mental Health, Neurodiversity, Networking, Success Stories, Risk Taking, Insurance Products


Mat Torres
Rachel Staggs

We are officially starting our Bold Moves podcast. Uh, my name is Matthew, and I have my co host, Rachel. Rachel, say hi. Hi. How are y'all? This is gonna be our first episode. Um, so we're kinda working out some kinks. We're working out some bugs. Um, we're sitting in the nice workuity office, uh, where we have a nice, uh, little pod setup. And, um, yeah. So this is gonna be fun. Uh, but we just wanted to kind of, uh, talk about our stories, uh, talk about, you know, what we're gonna be talking about with other people, which is bold moves, um, primarily, you know, uh, people who have taken risks, who have, um, kind of jumped into the unknown, if you will, either with, like, their business or their personal life, um, or just any type of, like, adventure. And, like, what came of it? Like, what what turned out? Like, it did it go well? Did it go bad? Um, what did you learn from it? I mean, I I think a lot of those things are gonna be pretty cool. Um, uh, what do you what do you think, Rachel? Because I know when we were talking about the idea, you kinda had some really good ideas about, you know, who we should, you know, talk to and how we should, you know, what we should talk about and what questions and whatnot. Definitely. I feel like sales in general as a whole, it's hard. If it was good, everybody would do it. Right? And everybody would be making a million dollars and everybody would have this crazy amazing book business, but it's not that simple. It's getting out there. It's making yourself uncomfortable and repeating the process until you're not. Right? Um, riding that till the wheels roll off. But I feel like I wanna talk to people who, you know, maybe haven't had that cookie cutter story of success. You know, I wanna talk to the Michael Jordans of the world. I wanna talk to the people who maybe got told no 87 times and stuck with it to win that eighty eighth time. And they didn't make their million dollars till they were 47 years old. That's who I wanna talk to, for me personally. Um, I think we have a lot of thoughts or preconceived notions about what success looks like, especially in our early twenties. And I think that angst and that feeling is something we can all resonate with of, like, I'm not doing enough. I'm not doing enough this soon, or I'm not hitting these accomplishments. And I think as we grow, we always think we're looking for that next stepping stone, that next best thing. Right? So when you're well, I got married at 23. At 21, 20 two, I was thinking, well, if I'm not married before I'm 30 and having kids, like, my life is a failure. And that sounds crazy now, at at 34 to be saying. But at that mindset and the way I was raised and all of that, that is truly what I thought. And as you grow as a person, that idea of what success is changes. I want my kids to be happy. Right? Of course, I wanna be successful financially, but that initial goal of what I thought was the, you know, was the blueprint isn't. Um, and coming into my own and establishing my own book of business way later in life, I didn't make my first hundred k until I was 30 years old. I didn't start off having a super duper easy journey. I started off my, like, journey in insurance in 2017, and I was making a whole 55 k, but I was happy with that. My kids were two and four. Husband had just gotten out of the military very suddenly, medically discharged, honorably discharged, but he was sleepwalking. So it was immediate. Like, our family was just back into civilian life after, I think you can relate, living that lifestyle for so long. To go back to that, I was blessed that at the time, USA gave me a job and my first start in insurance. But I realized being captive, I was limited with what I could do for people, and I knew that I was meant for a different company, maybe a different angle, but I did like insurance. I did like teaching somebody something that was hard or maybe something that they didn't have a good experience with. I feel like I've been talking your ear off though. I know you have quite the story and and both understand, like, the military mindset, that background. Switching up, like, you you still do serve, but in a different way, right, and and having both of those hats that you still wear, how do you feel like that's guided you towards being here and, you know, making your own bold moves? Oh, man. I I think I've always been, like, a risk taker, and I think that's just generally, like, the problem with, for one, having, you know, like, ADHD. You're just kinda like you don't you don't even look at risks really. You know? You just kinda, like, jump in. And my wife, she's always, you know, been more risk averse, and so I always sometimes have to kind of, like, you know, talk to her to kinda get grounded on some things, but I'm always, you know, I I always, um, I always kinda, like, jump first, and then I kinda, like, look later sometimes. Um, but I I I think sorry. What was the question again? Sorry. Well, I know you had quite the journey Yeah. Yourself with both, like, military life and transitioning. But, like, most recently, coming to this point, your bold move of doing insurance when you have so many different skill sets. Right? Like, of choosing maybe to be held. Somebody would see it as putting all of your eggs in one basket. We're not. We're not. We're nobody's saying that. Yeah. But our primary focus is selling right now currently, and it is selling insurance. So what do you think led you here? Yeah. So this this is so this is a little bit different than what I used to do because I used to work for employee benefits. I think I had a really a really good job. Basically, uh, working with brokers, you know, I was doing employee benefits. You know, I worked, you know, with, like, uh, you know, the two to 99 market segment, and it was fun for me. You know? Like, it was inside. I I worked a lot with people that were already established. You know? We had book of business. I called and maintained the relationship and then basically, you know, sell them, you know, dental insurance, you know, and, uh, and group life and, uh, disability and whatnot. Um, I thought it was gonna be there forever, um, but they kind of, like, consolidated the role with another role. Um, it was more like of a, you know, upmarket role. So these were these were guys out out in the field actually meeting with brokers, and I kinda didn't have a job. Um, and so I kind of I was there for, like, eight years. Um, and then now I was kind of, like, floundering, trying to figure out what to do. Um, I started working at another, you know, carrier, uh, you know, doing dental insurance. Didn't really like it as much. Um, jumped around, tried commercial real estate. Uh, didn't really get any support, you know, and it was just kind of like another risk. Um, and that was kind of, uh, frustrating because, you know, I'm gonna be jumping all over the place here. But, um, you know, we we took out this loan on our house. It's called, like, an all in one loan, and, basically, you use your entire house as, like, a line of credit. And at the time, it was great because, you know, uh, for basically using your house as a bank, then your overall, you know, balance, you know, goes down daily. And since interest is calculated daily on that, you know, the more you're in the black, the, like, the better you are. Well, I had gotten that loan and then, like, a month later, I lost my job. And so now, you know, I'm trying to figure this stuff out. And that you know, I was doing commercial real estate for, like, six months and not really getting anywhere. And I'm using this loan, you know, to pay for my, you know, bills, basically. And so, basically, I'm using my equity to, like, you know, cover my life. And then, you know, I'm like, okay. Uh, things are getting kind of crazy. I need to just, like, start working. Um, started, you know, trying to figure out, you know, another job, you know, this life insurance over the phone. You know, was having a really difficult time being, like, chained to a phone just because my personality, again, you know, I'm like, I'm as as you can tell just by, you know, hearing me. I'm like, I'm I'm all over the place. Really hard to what you just said. Like, uh, to that was the big thing with you wish me aye. I don't wanna get in trouble. But, um, with my corporate company that I started with is inbound call center. Yeah. I was losing my mind too. So I just relate. Like, yeah. That's not for everybody. It's for a special kind of person. And I think if you're sales oriented or a doer, right, somebody who's go go go, generally speaking, a sales model where you are on a commission structure is always going to be better for someone like you because you're motivated by that. Oh, yeah. Totally. The people who like that, and there's nothing wrong with it. That's what I I like to differentiate and say. Right? You know, I have a best friend that I think of who I onboarded here at this job. She's no longer with the company. But I understood her perspective, and I understood that she might be more meant for that job. And there's nothing wrong with that. There's a lot of people who who are amazing customer service people, and you call that particular business, and they're always happy to talk to you because they take care of the people. But at the same time, there's no motivation. There's no if you're a goer, you're a doer, and you're a try hard, that's also probably not the role for you because you're always gonna feel underwhelmed by making the same as everybody when you know you don't give the same effort. Yeah. Yeah. That I could never work, like, a a standard salary job where where I'm capped. Like, that just would not work for me. Um, it was interesting, though, that sales job, the life insurance over the phone job. You know, I got my I got my wife a job there. Um, she, like, studied for a test. She had just come gotten off of teaching, and and she wanted to get back in the workforce and, like, hooked her up, got her a job. She loves she's still there. Oh, awesome. Like, she's still, like, she's, like, blowing records and stuff, which is, like, amazing. But she loves being chained to that dialer. Like, she loves being, like, just logging in. Some people, they excel on the phone or they would suck in person, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Like, their phone etiquette, they love the control of being able to kick. You know, all of it. The whole thing. The being able to go on mute. I personally as ironic as it is, I don't like to talk on the phone socially. Like, people give me a hard time about it. I'm Mhmm. I'm a texter because, um, I can be a stenographer. I can write a hundred words a minute. If you can type like that and Yeah. You go you move that way, it's so much more efficient communication. No. I know what I've said. This is right here what I said. Mhmm. Um, there's no confusion of what I said. I would rather send an audio message than pick up the phone, as crazy as that sounds. Oh, interesting. Yeah. But it's because I've been on the phones, like, my whole life pretty much. So Yeah. Like, socially, I feel like I'm completely different than work me, if that makes sense. So I feel like it could be a little from column a, a little from column b. Yeah. Dichotomy of a woman. Right? Yeah. She excels being on the phone. And maybe she likes being on the phone in general. I think she does. Like, just, like, having conversations with her, she she really enjoys, like, that conversation. And Whereas, I would argue you and I both like conversations in person better. Yeah. It's fun. Yeah. Well, see and here's the thing. I have a hard time with, like, names, but faces, like, I instantly, like, will recall. Um, and it's just kind of, like, the way my my brain works. Like, I'm pretty sure yours is kinda similar to two. But, um, yeah. So, anyway, uh, left that job. I was like, okay. I gotta find something else. This is where I actually found Compareon. So I looked out, and I was like, oh, interesting. I I I was originally, back in the day, gonna, like, start a franchise. Like, I was gonna start, like, a Oh, I think you had talked about that. I think vaguely vaguely, I do remember you saying something like that because I also thought of the same mindset of like, okay, well that's not the craziest thing I've ever heard. Buy your own location. You're your own boss. You get to choose who's working under you. So from a lot of regards, I understood that route too, just just the initial giddy up, the initial capital Mhmm. Off put me personally. Is that kind of what wifey felt like? Or Well, no. So it was interesting because we were actually gonna do it. We were gonna, like, go all in. Okay. And there was two two companies. One was called I won't say the name, but one of them, uh, they were wanting, like, a $60,000 buy in, which was, like, huge. And we were kinda like, uh, and we were seriously considering it. We're like, um, we thought it could, you know, cut might work. And then there was, um, the other one I can say because it's, you know, they're they're I think they're a great company, but, you know, Goosehead was another franchise that we were gonna be looking at. And I have a family who works there. No hate on Goosehead. I know. No. I They're our competition. I know. Right. They know it. We know it. But, uh, there at the time, their buying was, like, 25,000. And and I did all kinds of, like, research. I flew out there to buy anything. Like, low. But it because that was before. Right? Yeah. Now what is it now? Uh, I don't know what it is now. Me neither, but I feel like I've heard different things. Different markets, they have different comp buy ins. Because I think even in Texas, like, I think it was about 50 or 60,000. I was gonna say 50 in my head is what sounded right for San Antonio, but that would have been the only market that it was, like, top of mind. He's out of Houston. My cousin works for them. So Oh, interesting. Oh, yeah. We're our family's gonna be, like, house divided between who they pay. Some competition. Yeah. That's funny. Um, but, yeah, no. In the Phoenix market, it was it was 25,000. Um, and, ultimately, I didn't I didn't do it. And and part of it was because, you know, again, we're talking about risks, but I I didn't take the risk. I chose not to. Um, and, really, it was because, you know, I I didn't I I I knew nothing about personal lines insurance. You know? I knew about employee benefits. I knew about life insurance. But if you talk to me about, like, you know, home and auto, which is, like, the bread and butter, you know, the primary, I I have no clue. Um, and I just felt like, okay. I need to learn something. I need to learn about this before I jump all in. And so I was looking at, like, farmers or State Farm or something like that to, like, go and, like, actually just be, uh, an employee or, you know, not an employee, but maybe do a franchise, not a franchise, um, you know, the opportunity's there and just kind of learn from them. But I didn't like that that captive piece of it, uh, but I like the independent side of it. But this brings me to compare on where when I talked to, you know, Justin, um, you know, he was basically explaining the model, and it it's a hybrid model. You know? It's like the best of, like, all of the captive, you know, uh, world and then the best of, like, the inventive world. Described it. Like, yes. The best of both worlds in my hiring interview too from that mindset, but you also have a similar mindset of you've been in that captive role before. You've also been in a role where you had a commission structure of sorts. Right? There was there was motive for your efforts, and then this is that true in between. Yeah. But yeah. No. That makes sense. Yeah. No. When he when he explained it to me, uh, even, like, down to the compensation and I understand, like, there's give and take on compensation. But even for being a hybrid model, the compensation, like, model is really good. It is. Like, I was really surprised, and I was surprised that there's even, like, you know, the renewal aspect to it, which was huge for me because that was one of the things I wanted to do. I wanted to build up, you know, like, my renewal income. So in twenty years, you know, I can retire or even not retire, but not feeling stressed out about the grind to constantly, you know, like, day and day. That I care a lot about too. I know we have coworkers that I admire the hell lot of that have put in a good twenty five, thirty years. But I'll be completely honest, I also wanna be retiring at 55, 60. I wanna be playing a lot of golf. You know? I'm gonna I'm gonna be putting in all the effort now in my thirties to be able to live that life. You know? You know, I I I sometimes wonder if I'm actually going to retire at all because I, you know, I I say that say that. Retire. Yeah. You know what I mean? But those minis are nice. Yeah. I know. But I I cannot I don't know. Maybe maybe my my mindset will be different, you know, in twenty, thirty years, but I cannot, like, just sit still even when I'm at home. Okay. But it's real but read this. Twenty years, you'll be a pawpaw. You'll be a grandpaw. That's true. Life changes and it's not about us. That's a good point. That's a good point. So I think our I mean, our immediate goal is still the same. Next twenty years, we're riding it to the wheels roll off. Uh, that's the expectation. Right? That is the blueprint of, like, if we put in this much effort, we put, you know, we're doing the work. Right? We're here. We're talking to you. We're getting to know you on a personal level. We're opening up our lives, and we're saying, this is what we've been through. Um, my dad passed away from COVID. So that was my big why of like, I had the experience, I never thought I would at 30 years old, of seeing a check that big, seeing my mom get a check that big, and it was it was 751,000. I don't know where the 1,000 came from. Um, I still question in my head as an insurance agent, but you wonder, right? And but over 700 k my mom was getting. So for the three years after my dad died, my dad made about 200 k a year. She had paid off the house, was able to sell our family home. She was hearing my dad in our home, like, you know, that kind of psychosis when you're with somebody for thirty one years, you think you still hear them. My mom needed a fresh start. Everybody, when they're going through grief, is gonna operate differently. Some people wanna stay in the home, some people don't. Right? That's a cost right there in and of itself, but that's the one cost people think of. I feel like I use, and I'm going to continue to use my story as a testament too, my dad did think about those next two or three years. He knew my mom would be absolutely beside herself and was not gonna be able to go work like normal. He knew she was gonna need lots of breaks. He knew she was gonna probably take a year off, and she did. And she had the time to do those things through her grief because he afforded her that opportunity with the right amount of life insurance. And the reality is, I think we think of life insurance as just those end of life benefits, right, of of, you know, our headstone, of actually burying us, of cremating us. We don't think about our person having to go live on without our income immediately. And that's reality and owing a bunch of bills. We all had student loans. My dad, my mom, myself, and my brother that were partially in my dad's name. All of that kind of debt that doesn't always absorb or go with you when you die. Right? Credit card debt, every carrier is different of whether or not it absorbs or it does not. Right? And so you have to go through, and it was a headache, but at the same time I knew financially she was good. And so my brother and I didn't hesitate. We were supposed to be beneficiaries too. We signed over rights, um, because my dad died at 53. So I think the reality and why I'm passionate, I was in insurance for a long time, took a break, life, I blew up on social media for marketing, for when my dad passed away. I was talking a lot politically. I was getting out in the community back home in Texas and I just realized, you know, I found the value in insurance. I didn't know when or where I would go back, but Compareon interested me in particular because I'd only written P and C. I'm the opposite of you. Right? I have never touched life insurance. I was like, like, shoot, well, I know about this because it really affected my life. Um, but I've never sold this. So that was my interest of particularly our company, of that I could truly do both and how well, um, life insurance also compensated. I was like, wow. So like, it's gonna be a win win? Like, I'm gonna win and I'm gonna help other people win? Some other daughter is going sorry. Some other daughter is going to get handed a check like that because I was a yapper, because I had the audacity to ask her dad why he didn't have his own life insurance policy Yeah. And why he only had a work policy. You know, reality is we wanna think that we are valued at our companies. And I've been one of those people. Right? I've I've mentioned I was at a fortune 100 company, started my career. But reality is we can get our pink slip whenever and we don't get a choice and our benefits don't always go with us when we leave. Right? Or if they do go with us, you're gonna pay a premium rate. You're not gonna be locked into that group rate that you were getting. Yeah. So now when you're getting your pink slip at 42 or 47, that's a terrible position to be in because now you have all of these hate to say it, but pre morbidities, you have all of these issues now that you didn't have ten years ago. So I feel like also too, I wanna speak to particularly people my age in their early to mid thirties when we still have a clean bill of health for the most part. And we're in that perfect window where you can lock in a policy for the rest of your life and pay that rate. Imagine being able to lock in auto insurance for the rest of your life. Let me put, let me paint that picture. Right? You only pay $200 a month right now. Do you think you're gonna pay $200 a month 10 years from now? Because you'd be crazy to think that. If that's what you pay now, we are headed for a different time. And so I think being smart with both our skill set and both truly speaking from experience. Right? Life's expensive. Mhmm. And we're all gonna die. It's inevitable. But who should benefit when you do? Not do should they. Who Yeah. Who should? Dude, you have you have no idea, like, how how many times I've said that to other people. And and it it it's hard because they always think, oh, you're just trying to sell me. You're just trying to sell me. And I'm like, dude, like, no. So, like, it's funny you mentioned that about the insurance and not knowing too much about it because like, I and I told you this story, like, before, you know, like, I don't know, ten, fifteen years ago. I had another friend who was really, you know, into life insurance, and, um, you know, she was offering to sell me, uh, uh, which was an IUL at the time. And I was, like, looking at it and, you know, the basic concept of an IUL, you know, you you get the all the gains. So, you know, if you're investing, you know, into an IUL and then all of a sudden, you know, goes against the the market. But let's say, it gains, like, you know, 20, but, you know, you're you're capped at 12. You know, you get your 12%, but then all of a sudden if the market tanks and it goes down, like, way below zero, you're you've got a floor and you're at zero. So you're not losing money. So you get all of the upside, but, like, none of the downside. Yeah. And it's like, okay. That sounds like a no brainer to me. Like, that sounds amazing. Um, you're trying to find out where the the, you know, the loopholes or whatever, but they're really not. I mean, that's why all of the big banks, like, you know, invest in IULs, you know, and they you they pull that money out and then invest it, and they do all kinds of crazy stuff. And but, anyway, so, you know, long story short, you know, I'm going and I go home and I tell my wife. I'm like, okay. Look. You know, Carrie. Because my wife's name is Carrie. Like, look. This is what an IUL does, and this is and I'm drawing it. And, you know, my my my wife has a hard time, you know, like, just listening to numbers, you know what I mean, without seeing them. And so even even with seeing them, you know, uh, very, you know, like risk averse. You know what I mean? And so didn't didn't do anything. Um, I was like, okay, because, you know, money out the door, you know, you gotta save money, all this other stuff. Well, come find out, you know, ten, fifteen years later, my wife takes her licensing exam. She's doing life insurance portion. She's going over the IOLs, and she's like, Matt, did you know there's an IUL that does this, this, and that? And I'm like, I'm like, Yes. I know. And then I'm like, I I told you about this like fifteen years ago. And, um, unfortunately, we can't get anything now because we're both really unhealthy. Um, you know, not, like, in the fact of, like, eating junk food. We have autoimmune issues. You know? Or, um, you know, we're just kind of, like, messed up. You know? And so we're just gonna you know? Doctors will look at us and be like, yeah. Go away. Um, and so, anyway, it's just kind of like, oh. So we're, like, on a mission to, like, just tell people about the advantages of, you know yes. Life insurance can be used more for, you know, more than just when you die. You know what I mean? There's there's a lot of, like, advantages that you can use it for, a lot of investment, you know, ways you can use it. When when I was told, you know, like, you can, um, you know, pull from your, you know, your cash value on an IUL, let's say you had it for, like, ten, fifteen years and you've got, like, a nice amount in there and you wanna pull it and invest it somewhere, like, you can do that and then not have to really worry about, like, you know, paying it back because the death benefit is gonna satisfy that. You know what I mean? Like, when you die, which is guaranteed, we're all gonna die. Like, okay. Boom. You're, like, you can take care of that. Um, and on top of that, your growth will continue to grow as if you never took that money out in the first place. I was like, um, that's pretty cool. Uh, so anyway, a lot of these you know, when you brought up the whole life insurance, it's just kind of like, yeah. Like, how do I tell more people, you know, like, even if I'm not trying to sell them. You know what I mean? Like, that there were some And I also think, you know, just to piggyback what you said, um, about the IUL, particularly, think about everybody who is my age to about 45. Right? Mhmm. We are making enough money where we could afford something like that. We are not educated about something like that. There's no class. There's no life insurance class in college. I don't know about you, but I did not get one. I did not. And I wish there should be if there I just had an idea. Sorry. What? Go ahead. Okay. So this other company that I used to, I I didn't really work for them. I went to a couple of things. It's called, um, uh, I don't wanna say anything. Uh, but they did this thing where they would bring people to a dinner. So, like, they people would pay for the dinner. Like, the whoever invited you, they would pay for the dinner, which was, like, $20 or something. And so you have these people at a dinner, and then there's this one person. They were, like, the person that would do the explaining, and they would have, like, a whiteboard, just legit, like, paper whiteboard, and they would kinda just explain the concept of an IUL. They didn't call it an IUL, but it was an IUL. But they would explain it, and they would draw it, and they would draw all the lines, you know, and they would see, like, oh, okay. Like, this is what it is. Um, and then at the end, they would, you know, do this thing where it's like, hey. You know, if this is, you know, like, something you wanna do, then, you know, like, talk to the agent, you know, that brought you here. Um, and they would always get, like, a couple. Um, and I was just I was just thinking, like, now that, you know, I'm trying to you know, we're trying to generate business and we're trying to, like, you know, get people out there to, like, know about that. What if we had idea? Why why didn't we think of that? Like, like, I don't know. Just anyway, my you know, I do No. I do I do think that has a lot of validity, especially because of the price point. It is the right it's low enough that it's not Right. Like, it's not adverse, not a problem. Um, but also too, in general, everybody likes feeling important. Right? So inviting and choosing that person as your plus one, it it leads it leads the right path. It It facilitates the right path. And they're getting your one on one attention too, so if they have any secondary questions, you can explain that to them. So that's really cool. I love it. I love that for us. Um, in general, like, when you look back at your trajectory in insurance, what would you have done differently? Would there be anything that you would have done differently? In terms of maybe staying there eight years? Would you have still stayed there eight years? Would you have switched up to get a different type of experience? Or do you feel like that kinda led you to where you are now? Yeah. That's a really good question. Sorry. No. No. That's great. Um, I think what I would have done differently is I would have gotten, like, some mental help, um, sooner. And because okay. So, like, just throwing it out there. Yeah. Like, I can relate really hard, but probably for my own reasons. So, like, I've I've okay. So I've got I've grown up my entire life having issues where I'm constantly trying harder than everybody and not being, like, good enough or being, like, just for some for reason or another, not being able to, like, move on certain things or actions. You know? And, you know, just long story, like, I I very recently found out, you know, like, within the past, you know, couple years, I've got, like, some ADHD issues, um, like, a touch of, like, possibly even, like, autism spectrum disorder. Like, if I'm literally getting tested right now. Um, um, they're like. Yeah. No. It would probably be considered, like because the spectrum is different now, but it would be probably more like Asperger's. You know what I mean? Right. Right. Um, then they call it AUD spectrum. Right? Because that it could be like it could be like autism to ADHD and Asperger. Yeah. Like a continuum. Yeah. It's it's very yeah. It's it's, like, very high up on the spectrum. So very high functioning. High functioning and very low is, like, you know, you can't talk and, like, you know, stuff like that. But I didn't really understand this until we started figuring out my son because my son has autism, and we've gone through this whole thing. And and when it was first brought up, I'm like, oh, no. No way. He cannot have autism. Like, whatever. But then you start learning more about it. You're like, oh, yeah. Maybe he had he does have it. May I maybe I had it. And then I got tested, and, obviously, you know, sure enough, you know, like, I I do. And so, you know, I went through probably about a year of going through different types of therapies and medication to really kind of, like, dial stuff in to really figure it out. And when I really did dial it in, my my mindset totally changed. And I even so I look back at my my time at my other insurance company, which I you know, like, the longest time I was there. Um, I didn't get along with certain people. Um, there was, like, some arguments that I would have for certain people, like, disagreements. Like, I'm I'm looking back. I'm like, man, I was the weird one. I was the one that had the problem. Like, I had a manager there, and she and she was she was the nice she was the nicest lady. She was very cool. Uh, I had a disagreement with her. We had conflicts. And my wife, when we were working from home and she would get on the call with me, and my wife was like, Why are you so mean to her? She's just trying to talk. And I'm like, I don't know. And I thought she was being, like, woah. I can't believe she would do you know? There was just so many things, and it's just like, man, I I I think that's what I would change because I probably would have had a a much better, um, outcome. And I probably would have maybe, like, promoted or gotten to a different position. Like, um, I think I probably would have still had a future there, um, had I not had these problems that I was working through that I didn't know that I had. Right. You know? And I kinda wanna go back to some of these people and say, hey. I'm I'm sorry. I was such a jerk. You know? Um, yeah. It was that that's probably one of the biggest things. I think so many things were going wrong. When When I look back at my corporate career, so many things were going wrong in my marriage, um, particularly, and it bled out to other things, including work. And so socially, when you're when you're saying that, I was, like, nodding my head, like, into with shame and relating. Not necessarily to lashing out on managers. They always scare me enough where, like, I do feel like I I submit to that one person. It's other coworkers that have been, um, more of the issue dealing with other females. Um, I'm gonna say this carefully, but when you maybe are an alpha female, and it has nothing to do with sexuality, I do happen to be bisexual, but I'm just saying it has nothing to do with it, but everything to do with it at the same time. When they sniff out that you command leadership from men and women, a very, only a very secure person can be with that. Only a very secure man can be with a woman who truly shines a lot and is still all about them, but can truly let her have her shine. An insecure person will always pull that person down. I shouldn't even just say woman, but will pull that person down to their level. And so I feel like in my career, I had that. Um, husband was being unfaithful at the time. We'll leave it vague. But it a % affected my work life, affected everything for a while. And I wish I would have gotten mental help sooner as as you put it with all of that until my world kinda came crashing down and I was forced to. Um, I had to at that point. So I do agree and I do think, like, whether it's EAP services, I try to let everybody know. My mom's been a guidance counselor my entire life, so I try to let people know majority of corporate companies offer between eight to 12 free therapy sessions, online therapy sessions. You can schedule them sometimes even during your work, depending on your company policy because people need you here, and we need you here. Um, you need to be here, and you deserve to be here. Um, so I think that's a good message because we've been there with that kind of feeling and that kind of angst and life being so so much. And I do think when we talk about people and their pillars, right, one of them is always family, friends, kind of like form, occupation, right, recreation. But when we think about everybody's pillars, when a pillar like work goes down, when your family's already down, generally speaking, people don't make it out of that mentally easy. It takes a lot of work, and sometimes that work is is checking yourself in somewhere and doing the work of healing, so I just relate really hard to we all have our own journeys. We all have different things that we have to deal with. Right? And sometimes we have no idea, and I had no idea, right, that all the details about you. But at the time, two coworkers had no idea what I was dealing with or that my 14 old, all at the same time, was being diagnosed with a rare heart condition. So the amount of stress that you're under, you do tend to lash out at people and who's closer to you than people you have to see every day, which is unfortunately coworkers. So I resonate with, I'm embarrassed of that time in my life, but also I have to look back on it and I want you to look back on it and give yourself grace. Uh, like you were a human going through things. Because if you were to look at somebody, if you were to look at a complete stranger, if you were to see, let's say, Matt, we'll use the other Matt as an example. If you were to see yourself in him, you would give him so much more grace than you would give little Matt. And that's just human nature. And I would give him, and I would give any of our female coworkers, I would give Yasi so much more grace than I give myself. So I think that like, duality is important. Right? We can have the accountability of maybe what we did wrong, or what what we would have done better. And also, like, maybe just remember, like, we're still a human being, and we're all gonna make mistakes. And it's okay to fail forward and make that bold move anyway after we still, quote unquote, make a mistake or or don't say the right thing to the right person. You know? Like, life's redeemable. We're all redeemable. Yeah. That's a good point. Man, I feel like you have, uh, much better questions than I do. I'm reading I'm reading off your cheat sheet. Oh, so They're your questions, dog. It's so so, I mean, to be honest, like, I I asked AI to create for me some questions. So Oh, so no wonder. You're like, oh, that's okay. Well, I what I did is I I put together there was three questions. I was like, oh, I kinda like let me just think about how I could say that together. And that's what Yeah. No. That's great because, like, I I was spending more time, uh, focusing on getting all of this set up, uh, just because, you know, again, first podcast and Of course. Like, getting all the technical stuff up. Everything. Yeah. So that's I'll have to I'll have to, like, read these more, um, ahead of time. Um, Yeah. Because that that was that was a good question that that that, uh, that you asked. But, um, gosh. What was I gonna say? Yeah. No. I I guess that that just brings us ultimately down to, like, what we're we're trying to do here, which is basically, you know, awareness and kind of, like, just, you know, build our build our brands, our our business, our our our book, our our networking, our connections. Like, I guess just all around, like But I would also add while being real people. Right? Because, like, because, like, yes, we are procedures. We are all of these things. But at the end of the day, I'm Rachel and he's Matt, and we're we're real people. Right? We have our same crazy stories. You have crazy war lore. Oh my god. Um, I have crazy lived, like, eight different lives going on ninth life kinda lore. And so I do feel like we bring a lot to the table in terms of life experience. And I feel like having that perspective and being able to talk to people about where they are, where they wanna be, where they see themselves. Right? Because if we could get this to a point where we are benefiting you too, like we're benefiting other people, that's the dream scenario. The dream scenario is that we get to have another real estate investor or a mortgage loan officer get to highlight their business and what it is that they're doing here, what bold moves they're making to push themselves forward. Yesterday, I made 12 cookie boxes and went and risked getting failed a lot. Right? Mhmm. It worked out way better than I could have imagined, but I totally had that expectation of, okay, I'm gonna make these cookies. This could crash and burn and this could be terrible. This could be a complete waste of my time. But the risk still, like, outweighed the reward. Maybe one of I went to ended up going to six people. Maybe one of these six people ends up being a center of influence who's giving me business. Right? And one, let me like, offered to let me be in their welcome packet. And it was the I was joking, but it was literally the last person I went to. It wasn't it wasn't the first one or the fourth one. It was the sixth person I brought cookies to that was willing to hear me, got manager, property manager to come talk to me. Her name is Bridget. Had a full thirty minute conversation that ended with, well, we don't have anybody that we're currently using for renter's insurance. We can put your business card in our welcome packet. Boom. Boom. And I've been here a month. So the possibility is there. Maybe we're just not leaving every single stone unturned. And I feel like, um, where I excel with my ADHD is I will make myself have 10 to 20 conversations every single day. It doesn't have to be overt. It doesn't have to be on the phone, like, going through a call. But I'm talking, like, making somebody feel 20 people feel important, that is gonna yield. I just thought of something. Go ahead. So and and it's just me thinking out loud, but it's like, you know, this is, like, even the first episode now, but, like, maybe we should call it, like, ADHD in business or ADHD something because it's apparently coming, you know, coming out where it's like, yeah, that's probably more interesting to talk about. I don't know. It is. Or or, like, maybe something, like, on the spectrum in business. Yeah. Some something that I don't know. Straight up, like, to describe that we're we're weirdos, but, like, cool. Like, we're we're doing things. We're doing things despite being a little different. Right? A little neuro neurospicy. Neurospicy. I'd like that. Neurodivergence. Um, you know, it's funny because, like, I I like to do business with with other people that, you know, are kind of, like, similar. Like, yeah, you know, they're not, like, all stuffy and and whatnot. Because when someone's, like, shut down or or, like, got this stonewall thing, I I kind of, like, I I take a step back, and I don't I equate that with fakeness. I grew up with a I grew up with a perfect, everything's perfect kinda mom. Like, everything has to be perfect kinda mom. So when I see somebody just being too prim and proper, I'm like, suss. Yeah. Yeah. I kinda I wanna You know? Like Yeah. I wanna I wanna see the mess. You know what I mean? Like, I wanna see the the flaws. It's funny. I don't know if you I forgot what her name is. I have to look it up. I every time I scroll on TikTok, there's this one, um, English dude, and he's interviewing this one girl. She's all talking about body language. Okay. Yeah. Um, I don't know if you've seen it, but it's, like, really she's I try really hard to to fold my arms because I do it when I'm cold. And I'm like, I don't wanna look off putting. I wanna look rude and I try to make myself conscious of it. Yeah. That was one thing she said is that, you know, when you're closed off like this, it, like, pushes people away. But if you open up, it's like you're open to, like, conversation. Women, we do things even crossing your legs. Yeah. Technically, you're supposed to, like, you're supposed to do this, like, tuck. Like, this this is, like, way more feminine Oh, interesting. Than you think than crossing your legs. It's also better for your circulation. But you're supposed to, like, cross your ankles. Yeah. But it's a more it's actually a more flattering edit because you're not squashing thighs together. I'm like, they've taught me all types of things, but but also, right, open body language. So even this looks more inviting my attitude. Right? My Oh, that's true. You shift in your chair Yeah. And when you sit like this, you're upright. Well, I don't even know. Yeah. That that makes a lot of sense. Disarm me anyway. Because I could be masculine. Yeah. Right? I have to be more conscientious when I'm trying to Yeah. To feel more feminine, to feel like more in my role. Well, so just going back to what this I forgot her name again, but I'll have to remember. But, anyway, you know you know what I'm talking about. Uh-huh. Um, she she talked about, um, being closed off and how she works with a lot of people who were they go into a social situation, and they think they're doing right by by being by not giving away any cards. You know what I mean? By, like, being very, like, you know, not showing any emotion or not showing, like, any quirkiness or any flaws, and they're just kinda, like, very stoic. And and when they I also do think it's, like, a fear mechanism too. Yeah. I do think, like, when people get, like, scared and they don't wanna admit like, there's some coworkers. I'm not calling anybody out. There's some coworkers that I know it's actually anxiety, and people think they're grouchy. And I'm like, no. They don't wanna do this socially. They don't wanna be perceived. You don't get them, but I get them. Right. Anxiety is another one that's like, you know, like, you're gonna have to level up. But, anyway, that's besides the point. Oh, no. Yeah. But, anyway, no. She talked she was talking about, you know, like, when she would tell these people, like, that's kind of pushing people away. And when you start to, like, you know, be normal you know what I mean? Like, you start to be open up and not be so fake and, like, just kinda like, yeah. I've got flaws too or I say wrong things too or whatever. Like, people relate more to that, and they're kinda like, oh, okay. You're just a normal person. Um, that kinda, like, resonated with me too because it's like when I go out and and, like, for, like, BNI, I started doing BNI and stuff. And when I go out there and talk to people, I just go out and talk to people. And, like, I don't even think about, like, what, you know, they think about me because most people are worried about themselves. You know what I mean? Like, they think about themselves. I also think BNI is such a reinforced thing with every single meeting of introing yourself, of practicing that elevator pitch. When you get good at that in sales, no matter what it is you're selling, you're taking yourself to a whole another level. Because think about it, on the fly, I can speak thirty seconds. Hi, I'm Rachel with Compareon Insurance. I love selling auto home, but my particular baby is life insurance. I am passionate about this because it truly has affected my life, and I go into my spiel. Right? That's a completely different energy than, hi. I'm Rachel. Yeah. Right? Of just knowing and having that confidence of, like, I am who I say I am. I say what I mean. I do what I mean. Right? And that energy of, like, okay. You can respect that, and that's non binary. Right? You can you can respect that in any type of human, and so I think that's really cool. And that's one thing I've learned about BNI too. It's it creates a lot of healthy habits. Yeah. A lot of repetitions. Yeah. If you think about it, you're getting a rep Yeah. For talking in public speaking every single week. Yeah. Yeah. No. I I love the structure of it. So especially since, like, you know, military person just kinda, like, like, the rigidity. You know, for me, that's like Oh, that's so awesome. Yes. No. I do like it too. So we are coming up, I think, about close to time because we do gotta go to a sales meeting. Um, so I think, like, just kinda closing it out. I mean, I think we're what we're we're looking for people we wanna talk to about that share kind of similar experiences. Right? I mean, like, I think now even, like, uh, we should probably, you know hey. Do you got a little neurodivergence going on? You wanna, like, you know, share? You know? I don't know. Um, but I think the the whole premise, you know, like, the the the brisk, bold news, like, type thing, you know, like, just it'd be fun to have some people to share conversation with and promote them and their business. You know what I mean? That's ultimately what we wanna do is to help other people, um, and kind of help them. Shamelessly self promote you. But, no. Seriously. If you think of it that way, right, it's a reciprocal relationship. We are not trying to ask you just to be annoying or just to, you know, poke the bear. We are genuinely asking for you to come on so that we can give you a platform so that you can best sell yourself and that you can talk about what it is that you're doing, what you're hoping for, what hoping for, what's your ideal client is, and what bold moves you've taken to get there. Yeah. I think that sums it up perfectly. Yeah. Alright. Very cool. Well, that is gonna be it. Uh, I think in the future, we're gonna have some cool music. But, um, other than that, we'll get this posted, and, uh, we'll go from there and sign it off. Sounds good. Alright. Talk to you. Bye bye.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Mat Torres

Co-host
Head Shot

Rachel Staggs

Co-host